Leaving or coming home?

It all started in 2006. I was 16 years old and I was planning on going to the US as an exchange student for one year. There were so many pros and cons to go or not to go - it felt so hard to make the right decision.
Now, 2 years later, I can say it was the right choice to go - the year was incredible,
if I may say the best year of my life..
No one will or can, and I won't blame you for it, understand what an exchange year
means to your life. Even if you want to understand.. you won't.. It changes you in so
many ways it's almost like you would slip into a different life.

A "better" life in my case..

I love life!! I love life here in Germany!! I have great friends, family and an amazing girlfriend and I would never EVER want to change with anyone.. but still..
Life was somehow "better" back than..
I can't really explain what it was that improved life, maybe being a different person,
a "better" person.

When you grow up, your personality grows with you. You become someone. Someone who people will get a picture of, but the problem is, thats not you in my opinion.. But somehow you are playing that role for the longest time in your life.

Now, during an exchange year, you start off as the person YOU want be! With your ideals on how someone should be...And no one knows you, that makes it so easy..

730 days later I doubt all this. I question life and again I am how people want me to be. But I don't have the strength to agonize about all this anymore..

Hey mom, hey dad.. Am I leaving or coming home?